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But since that’s not reality I’ve decided to compile a list in hopes of answering some questions. Spends every night away from his home, doesn’t answer his phone, and finally calls at 6am claiming he was at dewaniya all night. Get used to it, you’re always going to be less important than dewaniya. Having intimate relations with you then either disappearing for a few days… Being intimate with a man before marriage is almost unheard of. He believes you should only look good for him, at home, behind closed doors.
And if they’re not followed then in HIS mind he’s not engaged. Of course the bullet points above are from either personal experience or simply witnessing those around me for many years.
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He will ask (or do it without asking) to look through your phone at any given moment. He, on the other hand, will more than likely have more mobile phones than you’re even aware of. If you’re leaving the house without him you’ll be expected to notify him verbally, by text, or a phone call. Regardless of how much fun you think the two of you are having together, he’ll choose spending time with his friends at the drop of a hat. This is the one where he’s mentioned marriage, or at least hinted at it. Don’t get excited, chances are you’re not off to meet mom anytime soon. He’s going to do anything in his power to convince you that sharing a bed is perfectly natural since you’re going to be sharing your life together in the near future. Finally, all men from all cultures are completely different. Don’t write to me telling me that I’m bashing Arab men or the culture. And please, if you have more to add, feel free to email or comment.
This behavior is what keeps most of us wives from asking for very much. And knowing a person will do pretty much anything in the world to make you happy prevents us from wanting to bother them with silly things.
Since you’re ‘officially engaged’ according to him (you’re not, rest assured) then living together is OK. Remember, you’re not in the typical American relationship where people meet, date, live together, share a bed, then decide if they want to get married. His wife then becomes one of the women in his family.