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Then they realize it’s expensive, cold, rude, and dirty so they go back where they came from. Nobody really sent me any messages, and given that being ignored by men is hard on my self-esteem, I was just about ready to delete the dating apps again when I stopped short: Could it be that my femme look was to blame for the cool reception?
Maybe a more butch look would attract the attention I wanted—surely a test wouldn’t hurt, right? For all of the straight people reading, Scruff is a location-based smartphone app where gay men can find, chat, and connect with each other.
Remember that I kept profile text—the information that actually gives you some insight about who I am—the same in both iterations of the profile.
Most gay men already know that the more masculine you present in online dating profiles, the more interest you will attract.
I’ve always known that, aside from being black, my feminine, flowing, chest-length locks were the greatest deterrent to my own success, which is why I logged off altogether for a while.
That’s perfectly fine as it goes: Scruff is a gay app, and it’s fairly common knowledge that a large chunk of users only want to have sex.
To counteract that, I make sure to only message guys who say they are looking for dates and friends.
However, recently, I started wondering if the masculine vs.