He updated his dating profile
I cringed a little internally — it seemed rather fast — but told him that if he was really interested in a monogamous, exclusive relationship, I’d be willing to give it a go.
It wasn’t me, he assured me, imploring me to just give him a bit to catch his breath and everything would be back to normal.
But it nagged at me, his smiling face in that profile thumbnail, the little “online now!
Creosote by the end of it, more bloated and uncomfortable than satiated, a little humiliated and thoroughly monstrous. And that’s when John’s email — the “wafer thin mint” that would blow the whole thing up — arrived.
I hadn’t messaged him or winked at him, posted a cute picture or anything.
He tries to make it seem like he's just doing it out of boredom, which, I guess, is fine.
In order for me to be 100 percent OK with it, I was hoping he'd be down to show me the conversations he has with girls, so we could laugh about it together.But having seen me looking, he’d emailed me out of the blue. My friends keep telling me everyone here is married, etc., so I’m rather nervous, but of course everyone’s profile makes them seem so reasonable and normal. It’s kind of weird concept, but I’m trying it because I work evenings, so except for weekends, the only place I ever really meet people is in bars, which is not necessarily that great a thing. Didn’t really have the right chemistry with any of them, though. When you meet someone in person, you know if you have chemistry. So you have to try to figure out if it’s worth pursuing with a date.Now I had my answer, really: while he was “so busy at work” and “with his sick brother,” too busy to see me more than once a week (if that) and too exhausted to call when he got off work after midnight, he had enough time to email any remotely interesting-seeming woman who snooped his profile. I am still very unsure of this whole online dating thing, and not completely committed to the concept. Naturally, I’ve written all of this and you’re probably a psycho killer. I’ve learned, too, that you should make the first “date” something totally quick and casual, i.e., get a coffee or a drink or something.Less than an hour after I (mostly) finished filling out my profile, my first email arrived: “Hey. After he asked me out, a friend took me aside and said, “Look, if you’re not looking for anything serious, I totally respect that, but be really up front with John, because he’s clearly looking for a serious relationship and I don’t want to see this blow up in my face.” I took him at his word, especially after John showered me with attention: long IM conversations, late night phone calls, protestations that he missed me when I went out of town for a week shortly after we started dating. John and I met through mutual friends at his local watering hole.Despite his protestations that he hadn’t really been phasing me out, I left him to clean up his own mess — and I told our friend that, in fact, John wasn’t looking for any kind of serious relationship and wouldn’t do so as long as he could get an ego boost from women checking him out online.